| Today was the installation service for the | | | | With a crisis averted, everyone took their |
| new Dean of Manchester. I had been recruited | | | | place in line.Suddenly, I heard, "Geoffery, |
| to be the crucifer (cross bearer), mostly | | | | come in. The bishop needs his staff." I |
| because I was the only one willing to give up | | | | turned to my left and saw the slightly |
| my Saturday morning to attend church. I had | | | | panicked Head Verger looking hopefully at |
| toyed with the idea of attending the service | | | | walkie-talkie. It wasn't talkie-ing back. I |
| anyway, since the Cathedral is my parish | | | | laughed out loud at the absurdity of the |
| church. Also, I have learned to appreciate a | | | | situation. The Verger, perhaps too involved |
| good ceremony during my time in this country. | | | | in the Bishop crisis, didn't appear to |
| The English are unparalleled in their | | | | appreciate the moment's comedic |
| ability to do pomp. The Church of England, in | | | | value.Grasping his walkie-talkie a little |
| particular, takes full advantage of its | | | | more desperately, the Verger repeated his |
| resources so one can be assured a splendid | | | | message, "Geoffery. Do you have Bishop's |
| choir, apocalyptic organ and regal brass | | | | staff?"Silence.The Verger moved a few steps |
| accoutrements. When other countries try to | | | | to his left. "Geoffery! Can you hear me |
| be ceremonial, the result is always a bit | | | | now??"Visions of Operation Vestment began to |
| naff, like they are re-enacting the real | | | | roll around in my mind. |
| thing with costumes they got from their | | | | |
| childhood dress-up box.This occasion involved | | | | [melodramatic voiceover] |
| civic as well as religious dignitaries so | | | | |
| there were all manner of horsehair wigs, | | | | "Deep in the bowels of an ancient Cathedral, |
| tri-cornered hats, ruffs, surplices, shiny | | | | a lone Verger is searching frantically for |
| military medals, swords, ecclesiastical | | | | the Bishop's staff. He is trying to |
| vestments, sceptres, orbs and even an | | | | desperately to communicate with Geoffery, the |
| outrageous hat or two worn by a borough | | | | second in command, but his efforts are in |
| mayor's wife. An unwitting passerby could be | | | | vain. Clearly the Cathedral's builders were |
| forgiven for thinking the Cathedral was | | | | not anticipating this moment when they built |
| holding a fancy dress party.So I was standing | | | | walls too thick for radio waves to penetrate. |
| in the corridor behind the nave waiting for | | | | The Bishop cannot join the procession without |
| the service to get underway. There were | | | | his staff!What is the Verger to do?!Will this |
| loads of people milling about in different | | | | slight miscalculation by 17th century |
| outfits. The choir were bored and | | | | builders jeopardise the entire service?Stay |
| mischievous, the Vergers fussing over every | | | | tuned..." |
| detail and the civic dignitaries were | | | | |
| hopelessly confused about where they were | | | | [fade out]The five-minutes-till-showtime |
| supposed to stand and where various pieces of | | | | bell rang and everyone got into position. I |
| their ceremonial dress were supposed to go. | | | | retrieved the cross, a spiffy gold one today, |
| As usual, the clergy were hiding out in the | | | | and led the choir into the side aisle. When |
| back room until the very last second.A woman | | | | organist belted out the introduction of the |
| was keeping note of which dignitaries had | | | | opening hymn, I set off. Another Cathedral |
| arrived and as the start time came closer, | | | | service had begun.It is not one that is often |
| she become more and more agitated that | | | | performed, as Deans tend to stay around for a |
| Tameside and Wigan still had not arrived. | | | | while but nonetheless I was glad that I had |
| Honestly. Did they get the email? Were they | | | | got out of bed and participated. The event |
| were included on the revised list? Wigan | | | | was not of global or even national importance |
| hurriedly made their way to the holding room, | | | | but quite meaningful for the Diocese of |
| tri-cornered hat and gown slightly askew, and | | | | Manchester, parishioners of the Cathedral |
| the lady was now able focus all of her | | | | Church and, of course, the new Dean, Rogers |
| annoyance on the as-yet-to-appear Mayor and | | | | Govender.So, congratulations Rogers.See you |
| Mayoress of Tameside.Wigan got a text | | | | 'round.Marcia Adair is a freelance writer and |
| message: "Tameside is stuck in traffic" As | | | | fine art photographer based in the North West |
| the start time grew nearer, the woman in | | | | of England.Her photographs are available for |
| charge had to work harder and harder to keep | | | | commerial and artistic purposes and may be |
| her freak-out at bay. Then, at the eleventh | | | | viewed at is also available for writing |
| hour, Tameside and his wife came rushing in. | | | | assigments. |