| Today was the installation service for the new Dean | | | | Then, at the eleventh hour, Tameside and his wife |
| of Manchester. I had been recruited to be the | | | | came rushing in. With a crisis averted, everyone took |
| crucifer (cross bearer), mostly because I was the | | | | their place in line.Suddenly, I heard, "Geoffery, come |
| only one willing to give up my Saturday morning to | | | | in. The bishop needs his staff." I turned to my left |
| attend church. I had toyed with the idea of attending | | | | and saw the slightly panicked Head Verger looking |
| the service anyway, since the Cathedral is my parish | | | | hopefully at walkie-talkie. It wasn't talkie-ing back. I |
| church. Also, I have learned to appreciate a good | | | | laughed out loud at the absurdity of the situation. |
| ceremony during my time in this country. The English | | | | The Verger, perhaps too involved in the Bishop crisis, |
| are unparalleled in their ability to do pomp. The | | | | didn't appear to appreciate the moment's comedic |
| Church of England, in particular, takes full advantage | | | | value.Grasping his walkie-talkie a little more |
| of its resources so one can be assured a splendid | | | | desperately, the Verger repeated his message, |
| choir, apocalyptic organ and regal brass | | | | "Geoffery. Do you have Bishop's staff?"Silence.The |
| accoutrements. When other countries try to be | | | | Verger moved a few steps to his left. "Geoffery! |
| ceremonial, the result is always a bit naff, like they | | | | Can you hear me now??"Visions of Operation |
| are re-enacting the real thing with costumes they got | | | | Vestment began to roll around in my mind. |
| from their childhood dress-up box.This occasion | | | | [melodramatic voiceover] |
| involved civic as well as religious dignitaries so there | | | | "Deep in the bowels of an ancient Cathedral, a lone |
| were all manner of horsehair wigs, tri-cornered hats, | | | | Verger is searching frantically for the Bishop's staff. |
| ruffs, surplices, shiny military medals, swords, | | | | He is trying to desperately to communicate with |
| ecclesiastical vestments, sceptres, orbs and even an | | | | Geoffery, the second in command, but his efforts |
| outrageous hat or two worn by a borough mayor's | | | | are in vain. Clearly the Cathedral's builders were not |
| wife. An unwitting passerby could be forgiven for | | | | anticipating this moment when they built walls too |
| thinking the Cathedral was holding a fancy dress | | | | thick for radio waves to penetrate. The Bishop |
| party.So I was standing in the corridor behind the | | | | cannot join the procession without his staff!What is |
| nave waiting for the service to get underway. There | | | | the Verger to do?!Will this slight miscalculation by 17th |
| were loads of people milling about in different outfits. | | | | century builders jeopardise the entire service?Stay |
| The choir were bored and mischievous, the Vergers | | | | tuned..." |
| fussing over every detail and the civic dignitaries | | | | [fade out]The five-minutes-till-showtime bell rang and |
| were hopelessly confused about where they were | | | | everyone got into position. I retrieved the cross, a |
| supposed to stand and where various pieces of their | | | | spiffy gold one today, and led the choir into the side |
| ceremonial dress were supposed to go. As usual, the | | | | aisle. When organist belted out the introduction of |
| clergy were hiding out in the back room until the | | | | the opening hymn, I set off. Another Cathedral |
| very last second.A woman was keeping note of | | | | service had begun.It is not one that is often |
| which dignitaries had arrived and as the start time | | | | performed, as Deans tend to stay around for a while |
| came closer, she become more and more agitated | | | | but nonetheless I was glad that I had got out of bed |
| that Tameside and Wigan still had not arrived. | | | | and participated. The event was not of global or |
| Honestly. Did they get the email? Were they were | | | | even national importance but quite meaningful for the |
| included on the revised list? Wigan hurriedly made | | | | Diocese of Manchester, parishioners of the Cathedral |
| their way to the holding room, tri-cornered hat and | | | | Church and, of course, the new Dean, Rogers |
| gown slightly askew, and the lady was now able | | | | Govender.So, congratulations Rogers.See you |
| focus all of her annoyance on the as-yet-to-appear | | | | 'round.Marcia Adair is a freelance writer and fine art |
| Mayor and Mayoress of Tameside.Wigan got a text | | | | photographer based in the North West of England.Her |
| message: "Tameside is stuck in traffic" As the start | | | | photographs are available for commerial and artistic |
| time grew nearer, the woman in charge had to work | | | | purposes and may be viewed at is also available for |
| harder and harder to keep her freak-out at bay. | | | | writing assigments. |