| Background:The 2005 Nobel Peace Prize was | | | | simultaneously helping the Soviet Union |
| awarded to the IAEA. Don't know who they are? | | | | defeat Nazi Germany. |
| They are the International Atomic Energy | | | | |
| Agency. What did they accomplish? I don't | | | | 2. Their presence in Europe after the war |
| know. Did they prevent the proliferation of | | | | maintained peace in Europe for 45 years. Has |
| atomic weapons in North Korea or Iraq? No. | | | | Europe ever seen 45 years of peace? |
| But they meant to and that is usually good | | | | |
| enough for the Nobel Committee. These | | | | 3. They were the bulwark of NATO forces that |
| Norwegians (the Peace Center is in Oslo, | | | | protected Europe (that includes Norway) from |
| Norway, not Stockholm Sweden) are idealists, | | | | Soviet invasion for 45 years. |
| intentions go a long way with them.Let's | | | | |
| review some of their other stunning | | | | 4. They have kept the peace on the Korean |
| awardees.2004- Wangari Muta Maathai. Already | | | | peninsula for the last 50 years. |
| forget who she was? That was just last year. | | | | |
| She is an AIDS activist and environmentalist. | | | | 5. They ended the Cold War and communist |
| No, she did not get the prize for medicine or | | | | hegemony over Eastern Europe. |
| chemistry. She received the prize for peace. | | | | |
| Despite many advanced college degrees, she is | | | | 6. They are currently almost single-handily |
| an AIDS conspiracy nut who thinks that the | | | | fighting the international war on |
| virus was created by the western governments | | | | Islamofascism. |
| to destroy Africans. She was supposedly | | | | |
| selected because she drew attention to | | | | 7. They are routinely dispatched to |
| political oppression in her fights with her | | | | extinguish small brush fire sized wars |
| home government of Kenya. Drew attention? Did | | | | throughout the world. |
| she accomplish anything?2002- Jimmy Carter. | | | | |
| Really? For his work, where? North Korea? | | | | 8. They are routinely dispatched to feed |
| Haiti? Has anything really improved in those | | | | starving countries and respond to natural |
| two countries since his visits? Maybe former | | | | disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis. |
| president Carter and the Nobel Peace | | | | |
| Committee should move to either Haiti or | | | | 9. They are the only peacekeepers nobody |
| North Korea. Do you prefer to live in Haiti | | | | messes with. They actually keep the peace. |
| and put up with roving gangs? Or is North | | | | |
| Korea and their internal security forces | | | | 10. They keep international sea lanes open |
| better for you. Human rights? Whatever.2001- | | | | to trade.That's only ten. I'm sure there are |
| The UN. Where have they ever gone anywhere | | | | many more. So here is my plan. In order to |
| and made a difference without the US backing | | | | give the United States' military a Nobel |
| them up? But they have good intentions.1994- | | | | Prize, we are going to have to invade the |
| Yassar Arafat. The father of modern day | | | | Peace Center and appoint our own committee |
| terrorism who became a multi-millionaire by | | | | members. Then we can declare the US military |
| stealing international aid money from his own | | | | the winner of a Peace Prize.We can probably |
| people.1990- Mikhail Gorbachev. He thought | | | | do this without hurting anybody. I think |
| that he could reform communism and make it | | | | Norway is the only country in Europe that |
| stronger by giving his people a little | | | | surrendered faster than France in 1940. When |
| freedom. He never understood the events that | | | | we arrive on the beaches of Norway all those |
| unfolded. You can't give the people a little | | | | Quislings will probably lie down and |
| bit of freedom.1988- UN Peacekeepers. An | | | | surrender.If we have to threaten the use of |
| ad-hoc group of soldiers who usually just | | | | force we can use this opportunity to test our |
| stand by and watch events such as genocide | | | | new F-22 Raptors and drop some bombs in their |
| unfold around them. They will do nothing | | | | fjords. They will surrender before we kill |
| without the military backing of the US. In | | | | all of their lutefisk. Christmas is almost |
| fact, they tend to sit around and get bored a | | | | here and that is lutefisk season.Besides, |
| lot. So they bide their time with some | | | | what have the Norwegians done for anybody |
| favorite activities that include looting, | | | | except send Vikings out to loot, pillage, and |
| rape and child prostitution.1985- | | | | burn villages and monasteries? And they don't |
| International Physicians for the Prevention | | | | like America. They never have. They sailed |
| of Nuclear War. Now that is a noble calling. | | | | here before anyone else and then turned |
| One problem. This organization was a KGB | | | | around and settled Greenland because they |
| puppet that was organized to try to curb US | | | | thought that was a nicer place to live. Sure, |
| nuclear power. It was chaired by Yevgeny | | | | they tend to do well in the Winter Olympics. |
| Chazov, a member of the Central Committee of | | | | But that is only because every event revolves |
| the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. Now | | | | around skiing and Norway is covered in snow |
| that was a pleasant group of peace loving | | | | for 46 weeks out of the year. This coincides |
| people.Ronald Reagan. Oh no, I'm sorry, my | | | | nicely with the 46 weeks of vacation the |
| bad. They didn't give one to him in 1985/86 | | | | average Norwegian worker receives each |
| when he refused to back down to the Soviets | | | | year.I'm sure the United Nations would spring |
| with his SDI. Or in 1987, when he gave his | | | | into action and send some peacekeepers in two |
| "Mr. Gorbachev Tear Down this Wall" speech. | | | | or three years. We can then leave and let the |
| These two events led to the end of World War | | | | Norwegians bitch slap them around. Meanwhile |
| III, aka, the Cold War. Conservatives are not | | | | if the UN tries sanctioning the US, we can |
| allowed to win the prize, even if they do get | | | | sanction them. We can withhold more of our |
| results.What about the US military? Have they | | | | dues, lock them out of their own building in |
| ever been honored? Let's review what they | | | | New York City, and make them pay their |
| have done.1. They almost single-handily | | | | parking tickets.Don't get me started on the |
| defeated the empire of Japan in WW II while | | | | UN. Not today. |